whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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