I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
