can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
His nipple licking is glorious
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