mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize