i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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