ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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