I love black thongs
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
