I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize