it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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