i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The air taste purple.
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