he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize