Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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