puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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