Its about making memories worth repressing
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
