Nicole vs. Life
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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