He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
