We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
