did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
