just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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