Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
