Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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