It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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