made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
