im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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