i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
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I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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