My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
