hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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