Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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