Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
