I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
