Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
