Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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