Do you still have your period?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Please don't give away my fajitas
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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