would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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