Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
