Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
