thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
bring money and cleavage
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
