The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
