I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
