i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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