ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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