Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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