Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
