The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
then he tried to convert me to islam
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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