Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
