Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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