I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
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After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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