I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Never let your siblings swipe right.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
