You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
