Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
