just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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