The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
