check it out our google latitudes are spooning
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
