I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
