he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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