Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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