We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
