mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
